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IMAGINE we were living in medieval times….
and you’d been invited to a royal banquet.
👑 🍷 🍲
The ones in charge were extremely
keen to get you to drink the wine.

They were very insistent.
👀
You’d probably assume the wine was poisoned.

“Drink this wonderful wine.”

“No thank you.”

“Be a good guest! Drink the wine.
We uncorked it especially.
It’s a beautiful and rare vintage.”

“No thank you. I appreciate the offer though.”

“Drink the wine. It’s very expensive
but you can have a glass for free,
and we’ll give you an extra plate of supper.”

“No I’m fine as I am.”

“Drink the wine and we’ll feed your entire village for a week and reduce your taxes.”

“Wow all that for wine? What’s in it? Still, no thank you.”
“We’ll make you a Duke.”
“Very generous but no thanks I’m content in my home.”

“You are not anti-wine are you????”

“No I just don’t feel like drinking this wine this evening.”

“Drink the damn wine or we’ll stop you working.”

“Eh?”

You notice they’re getting desperate now.

“We’ll ban you from markets.”

“Wow your tone has changed.”

“Now you need to drink 3 glasses
or we’ll stop you riding your horse or
seeing your family for the next year.”

“Wait, what? 3 glasses?
Can’t see my family?”

“Did we say 4 glasses? We meant 4 bottles.”

“4 bottles?”

“Yes…every few months
we want you to drink 3 bottles
of this particular wine
we’ve prepared indefinitely
for the next years.”

“Years??”

Yes, or we’ll try you for treason.”

“Ok what is IN this damn wine
that you are trying SO HARD
to get everyone to drink?” “We can’t tell you. Trade secret.”

“It’s poisoned isn’t it?”

“No..it’s just really really good for you.
It’s …ummm… , special healing wine.”

“Then why all the threats?”

“We just need you to…
I mean we strongly encourage you
to drink the wine so you don’t miss out.”
“But the Earl drank a glass and collapsed.”

“Unrelated.”

“No…like he was fine then he had a glass
then keeled over
…he’s still on the floor writhing.

Look at him! His face is blue and he’s clawing at his chest.”

“Coincidence. Guards…please escort the Earl to his chambers.
He’s had too much wine.”

“I knew it was the wine! What about the rest of the court?
Half of them also collapsed after the wine.”

“Those guests got ill from something else.
Probably the chicken.”

“All at the same time?”

“You sure do ask a lot of questions!
Guards! Guards… get this man his wine.”

“I don’t want it.
What if something happens to me after drinking it?”

“We’re not liable for that.”

“Not liable for the wine you produce?
I definitely don’t want it.”

“Drink your wine so everyone else doesn’t get a hangover.”

“Huh? That makes no sense.
Maybe if they didn’t keep DRINKING
they wouldn’t get HUNGOVER in the first place?”

“Look at these paintings of people
drinking wine all over the gallery.
Look how happy they look.”

“Paintings? Look,
I don’t drink wine.
I don’t want the wine.
Even the idea of drinking this wine
leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“You don’t have to drink it.
We can pump it directly into your veins.
You won’t even have to taste it”

“Wait, into my veins?
Are you serious?
I don’t want your damn wine!”

“TAKE THE DAMN WINE NOW!
WE’VE ALREADY PAID FOR A
WHOLE CRATE FOR EACH
MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY!

WE’VE SIGNED AN ONGOING
CONTRACT WITH THE DISTILLARY!
ANYONE WHO TALKS BADLY ABOUT
THIS WINE WILL HAVE THEIR TONGUES CUT OUT!

PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW DRUNK ON
THE LAST BATCH WILL BE RECLASSIFIED
AS SOBER AND MUST DRINK THE NEW BATCH!

AND WE WANT YOUR KIDS
TO DRINK THE WINE TOO!

EVEN YOUR BABY.

SWAP HER MILK BOTTLE FOR WINE!

SHE’S OLD ENOUGH FOR WINE NOW!

AND YOUR PREGNANT WIFE!
SHE NEEDS IT TO KEEP HER HEALTHY!

EVERYONE DRINK THE WINE!”

THIS is how absurd the conversation
is getting now.